


Yearning Hope

by beyourownanchor16



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Corpanga (slight), F/M, Joshaya (slight), Rucas fic, Smarkle (slight), The Vow AU, memory loss fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-12 01:09:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7914523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beyourownanchor16/pseuds/beyourownanchor16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I vow to always love you with all my heart and in all the forms that you are, and to never doubt that the love we have is timeless. I vow to always be the one you can talk to, to always have meaningful conversations with you and to sit with you in silence when need be. I vow to always have faith and hope in you and in us, and to always keep alive the love we can call home."</p>
<p>"I vow to always cherish what we have, and to always remember that what we have is special and irreplaceable. I vow to always believe in Pluto with you, and to always hang on to you when things are rough. I vow to always protect you, especially when the world is against us, and to always choose love over anything else. It's been you since the moment you fell into my lap, Riley, and it will always be you."</p>
<p>OR </p>
<p>When Lucas gets into an accident and loses his memory, it is up to Riley to get them through this ordeal. How, though, does one look at the man one loves and win him back when he does not remember all the important moments they have shared?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Saudade

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello everyone! I really hope you enjoy reading this fic. Rucas has officially taken over my life. I've had this idea in my head for a while. Let me know what you think! I really loved The Vow and there are several quotes in there that have stuck with me since I first watched that movie. Anyways, enjoy!

Riley watches as he blinks, heart beating exhilaratingly fast as happiness sweeps through her. Her husband groans as he takes in his surroundings, and as his doctor addresses him, she wills herself to say something – anything, really – but words cannot leave her.

She wants to tell him how much she misses him and how she is so glad that she can be done missing him. She wants to tell him how the past few months have been torture, how she has been clinging on to the thread of hope as she waited for him to open his beautiful eyes. She wants to tell him that she cannot wait for him to come home with her, and that their friends and family were waiting for her to just say the word and they will crowding around him.

She wants to tell him so much, but when his eyes land on her, her breath hitches. Lucas blinks at her again, confusion marring his handsome face, and she gives him a shaky comforting smile.

"Was anyone else hurt, ma'am?" his voice is raspy as he asks, his gaze on her unwavering since he set his eyes on her.

Riley's heart skips a beat when he addresses her.

"Wait, you – you know who I am, right?" she stutters.

"I'm sorry. Should I?" he asks and her world stops.

It feels as though they are the only two people in the room. She can feel the panic rising in her, but she squashes it down, taking a deep breath as she approaches her husband. From the corner of her eye, she sees Lucas' doctor fumbling with his patient's reports. Riley gulps softly and gently weaves her hand through Lucas' right hand. He looks at her in confusion, and she wonders how much more heartbreak she will be able to endure.

"Lucas," she breathes. "I'm your wife."

Tears spring into her eyes when he roughly pulls his hand away at her words. She wills herself to calm down, trying to understand things from his point of view.

Lucas is staring at her, eyes wide with disbelief. She watches as panic etches onto her husband's face when he holds out his right hand. The wedding band on his ring finger glistens under the light and it is the way he looks at it – as though he is seeing it for the first time – that pushes her over the edge.

"I'll… uh," Riley's voice cracks as she tries to find her words. "I'll be back."

She runs.

* * *

_A few months ago…_

" _This is amazing," she giggles as she presses her head against his back. A large smile spreads across his face and he promises himself to bring her to the ranch again next year. The beam she had sent him earlier when he told her that they were going on a ride on Daisy, the white horse Riley had a soft spot for when they were first introduced, had made him feel as though he was in heaven. If he could spend the rest of his life making sure that that smile never fell from her face, he would die a happy man._

_Lucas tugs at the reins, and Daisy slowly comes to a stop. He turns to face Riley, wanting to ask her if she would like to be in front, when his wife surges forward and captures his lips with hers._

_He grins into the kiss, surprised and pleased at the same time. The angle is awkward – half of her is on his lap and the other half is dangling dangerously off Daisy's side – but it is still a kiss he knows he will never forget. There is a twinkle in her eye as she looks at him, and Lucas is certain that the look on his own face is mirroring hers. It's been two years since they've gotten married, and he prays and hopes everyday that the way she looks at him never changes._

" _Thank you," she caresses his face and he leans into her touch._

_He is about to tell her to sit back down properly but he is too late._

_A loud bang echoes through the field, and he hears Riley scream as Daisy panics and gallops forward. He yells out for his wife when her presence behind him is no longer felt, scrambling to hold on to the reins but he is not fast enough. The last thing he remembers is being flung off his horse mere seconds after Riley._

_The last thing he prays for is that she is safe._

_And then everything turns black._

* * *

" _Some_ impairment? He doesn't remember me!" she yells at the doctor and stomps away, tears clouding her eyes.

He does not remember her. Lucas does not remember her. Her husband does not remember her.

She slaps her hand onto the wall, the pain from the contact of her skin onto concrete resonating through her arm. Tears stream down her face as she slides her back against the wall. His husband does not remember her.

"Honey?"

Lucas does not remember her.

"Riley! Snap out of it, please!" is all she hears before she feels a sting across her face.

She stares at her best friend blankly.

"Riley," Maya grips her shoulders and helps her up. Her best friend guides her to the nearest chair, Maya's hold on her not loosening once. "Riles, what happened?"

Her voice shakes as she says it again, "He doesn't remember me."

Maya's eyes widen and she pulls Riley towards her, squeezing her tight. The brunette closes her eyes upon the contact, sobbing as she grips onto her best friend.

* * *

_4 years ago…_

_He hears her before he sees her. She is waving her hands animatedly as she talks to her blonde friend. There is a twinkle in her eyes when she grins at her friend, and Lucas cannot help but think about how pretty she is. He is about to look away when she turns, lock eyes with him and smiles._

_He has heard about moments in one's life when time stands still. He knows that those are the moments that one will remember forever and even though it just happened, he knows he will always remember the friendly smile she gave him just seconds earlier._

_He gives her a small smile back, nodding at her. He is disappointed when she turns back to talk to her friend, but goes back to reading his book when he hears a loud screech._

_He is feeling particularly thankful that he got a seat a few stations ago when he sees her moving backwards towards him, having lost her footing when the train stopped. It is as though things are happening in slow motion as he reaches out and she falls nicely onto his lap._

" _Hi. We were just talking about you," she smiles sheepishly at him._

_He grins at her, resisting the urge to rub his neck like he always does when he is nervous._

" _I'm Lucas," he introduces himself._

" _I love it," she adorably admits and he resists the urge to laugh when her eyes widen at her own words. She must not have filtered her thoughts enough. "I'm Riley."_

_There are moments he knows he will remember forever. He is very sure that this is one of them._

* * *

"Peaches, what am I going to do? How do I handle this? I don't know how to handle this!" she sniffs and Maya holds on to her, her own eyes filled with tears.

"Not alone," her best friend reassures her. "I called Zay earlier. He'll be here in an hour. Farkle and Smackle should be here by tomorrow. Josh will be here during his break. Your parents and Auggie will be here after school hours. Riles, you have us. And not to forget this little one."

Maya pats her pregnant belly and Riley gives her friend a small smile, the support she knows she will always have from her friends and family easing the tight hold panic had gripped around her heart from earlier.

"Do you know what the last thing he remembers is?"

The brunette shakes her head and looks down, embarrassed. "I, uh, kinda left after he told me he didn't remember anything. We haven't really talked. I'm going to give him some space to wrap his head around this."

Maya takes her chin and gently brings her face up. Her best friend is looking at her with understanding.

"A lot has happened, Riles. It's okay to have been scared. There's nothing to be ashamed of for needing some air."

Maya always knows what the right things are to say to her in any state she is in. It is one thing she knows she can always count on.

"I'm so tired, Maya," she admits and Maya nods, bringing her close again. Riley is careful to place herself in a position that is comfortable for her best friend. "But I'm not giving up hope. We'll make it through this."

Her companion says nothing and Riley knows that Maya is trying to protect her from the truth. The truth is that they have a long road ahead of them. She does not know what Lucas remembers, and she does not know how he will react and adapt to her and the life they had been leading before the accident. She does not know if his memory would come back. She does not know a lot of things.

What she does know is that she loves him with all her heart. What she does know is that if it had been her without her memories, he would be fighting for her and their love. What she does know is that she is going to do the same thing.

"I have faith," she says again and Maya squeezes her hand comfortingly.

"Of course you do," her pregnant friend nods. "You wouldn't be Riley if you didn't."

* * *

He finds her in the lounge a few hours later.

Riley is asleep on one of the couches, her long legs dangling from the end of the couch but she is not alone. Her head is leaning on the shoulder of a pregnant blonde woman who is also asleep.

Lucas can tell that his wife is not having a pleasant dream. Her brows are narrowed and she is muttering under her breath.

He feels the weight on his chest lighten at the sight of her. It is a strange feeling, to find comfort at the sight of her. He does not remember the woman who is claiming to be his wife. The weight of the wedding band on his ring finger feels heavy but he has not taken it off. He had thought about it earlier, but had decided against it. Not wearing it just feels wrong.

Lucas gently pokes her shoulders and observes as she awakens. When she does so, her blonde companion awakens too, though the contrast between them immediately becomes obvious. The blonde furrows her eyebrows, grumpy, while Riley gives him a soft smile when their eyes lock. He feels a tug at his heart when she does so, and if this is the way she makes him feel when he does not know her, he cannot imagine how their lives had been when he did.

"Hi," he greets him nervously.

"Hey," she gently regards him. She turns to the blonde, chuckling when her friend mutters something he cannot hear. When the blonde lays her eyes on him though, her eyes widen and tear up.

"Hey, Huckleberry," she says and he turns around to find out who she is talking to.

"She's talking to you," Riley informs him and he looks at them in confusion. "That is her nickname for you. This is Maya, Lucas. She's my best friend."

He is taken aback by that piece of information. The pregnant blonde waddles towards him, grabs him by his shoulders and hugs him tightly for less than two seconds before she lets go.

"Sorry, hormones," she laughs through her tears and he just gives her an awkward smile. She turns to Riley then and tells her, "I'll be back tomorrow. You two should probably talk."

Riley takes the bag Maya was about to sling over her shoulders.

"We'll wait for Josh with you," she tells the blonde and Lucas watches in amusement when Maya gives her friend an exasperated look. Lucas is sure she is about to argue with Riley when a young man in scrubs approaches them and takes the bag from Riley.

"Thanks, Riles," the man gives his wife a kiss on the cheek and Lucas feels the smile slip off his face at the gesture. He straightens his back and regards the man, surprised when he holds out his hand. "It's good to see you're okay, Lucas. I'm Josh, Riley's uncle and Maya's husband."

He feels his face heat up at the pointed look that Josh sends his way. No doubt the other man had sensed his jealousy.

"Uh… Thanks for the introduction," he nods appreciatively and Josh gives him one last friendly smile before turning his attention to his pregnant wife.

"Let's go, wife," he says and slings the bag over his shoulder. He holds out his arm, and Maya rolls her eyes, pushing his hand away as she walks away.

"I'm pregnant, not an invalid, Josh."

"I didn't say you were an invalid, Maya."

"Well, you were implying it!"

Riley laughs as her uncle and best friend's voices drift off and turns to him. The previous look of amusement on her face slowly dissipates and uncertainty replaces it.

"And I'm, uh, hungry. Can we get something to eat, please?" he breaks the silence.

"Sure."

They walk to the cafeteria in silence, not knowing what to say to each other.

"Here," he hands her a plate and takes one for himself. She nods her thanks at him and walks down the buffet line. He takes a deep breath and goes for it, "So, I have a few questions about me. And a-about us."

She nods at him, motioning for him to continue.

"Why do I have weird hair?" he asks and amusement dances in her pretty eyes at his question.

"I'm gonna assume you're asking me why it's short?"

He nods. He remembers having shaggier hair, and though his family had complained about it, he had kept it mostly just to annoy his father.

"The clinic you work at has strict guidelines about the length of your hair," she tells him. "And you actually preferred it short so I had Zay come in to maintain your hair when you were in your coma."

Wait – patients?

"I'm sorry. Clinic? Why do I have clinic?"

"You're an intern at an animal clinic, Lucas," she reveals. "You're studying to be a vet and this would have been your last year."

He is so confused now.

"I'm a vet? The last time I wanted to be one was in high school. What happened to law school?"

"I think you were many credits shy."

He sits down as quickly as he can, legs suddenly feeling like jelly. He notices the way she clenches and unclenches her fist, as though she does not know what to do with her hands.

"How long have we been together?"

"Four years. We've been married for two."

He has been married to her for two years but as hard as he tries to, he cannot picture their lives together. She seems so sweet and genuine, so different from the girls he does remember dating.

He remembers having a type. He remembers going on dates with girls who never expected anything more from him than one night. He remembers that changing when he met Missy Bradford at one of his parents' charity gala and he had been smitten with her. He remembers taking her on a date and dating her for two years before he proposed.

He remembers being engaged to Missy Bradford, but he doesn't remember being married to Riley Matthews.

And he tells her so.

Hurt flashes across her face, and he observes the way the smile she had given him earlier dissipates for a short while. He has never felt sorrier in his life for being the cause of that look on her face, but then another smile makes its way onto her face.

It's a smile that does not reach her eyes, as though she is forcing herself to not let her emotions get the best of her. He decides right then that he does not like that smile.

"You said something about Zay?" he asks, desperate to change the subject as an awkward silence settles between them. She nods.

"He should be here soon. I think a familiar face is what you need," her voice shakes as she says so.

"And my family?"

Not for the first time, she shifts in her seat in discomfort. "Uh, you haven't spoken to them in five years."

He blinks at her, "What? Why?"

She takes a deep breath, "You had a disagreement with your father about giving up law school at Stanford to go to Cornell for your vet degree. It was a really big argument."

"And I haven't spoken to my mother or sister because of that too?"

"It was a really big argument," she repeats weakly.

There is something she is not telling him because it just did not add up. Why would he stop talking to his family, especially his mother and sister who he was very close to, because of school?

"But I'm still friends with Zay?"

She nods. "He was the first person you went to when you left Texas. He has never left your side."

It is comforting to know that there is one thing that has not changed.

Lucas feels a presence behind him, and Riley beams brightly at the person behind him. He turns and for the first time since he woke up, he feels a sense of relief.

He gets up and wraps his arms around the man he considers his brother, and Zay hugs him back just as tightly.

"Lucas, man. It is so good to see you awake," his best friend grins as they let go before turning to Riley. "Hey, Sugar."

"There's my favorite songwriter," she says as Zay kisses her cheek.

So Zay had accomplished his dream of being a songwriter. Lucas feels a surge of happiness for his friend. He knows how much Zay has struggled just to get to college, and the fact that his best friend is doing well even after college brings makes him feel a sense of pride.

Riley nods at Lucas, grabbing her bag as she gets up. Zay takes her spot as the two men sit back down. "I'll be back in an hour, okay? I just need to head home and grab you clothes, Lucas."

"Take your time, Riles. I'll stay with Lucas," Zay says and she nods at him appreciatively. She gives the man a final side hug and then goes to her husband.

She is about to give Lucas a peck when the man pulls away.

"Sorry. Habit," she mutters. She gives him one last smile though, pats his shoulder and then leaves without a second glance.

"That was cold, man," Zay gives him a sympathetic look and Lucas shrugs miserably.

There really is nothing he can do about it. As much as it pains him to hurt her, he is not comfortable enough for intimate acts such as the one she had been about to initiate.

"So, songwriter, huh?" he changes the subject, hoping that the conversation he has with Zay will distract him from the heartbroken look his wife has sent him earlier.

* * *

She wipes the tears from her eyes, closing them as she attempts to reign in her emotions.

She has to be strong. She knows it is going to be a tough road ahead. She has to hold on for Lucas.

Not for the first time since the accident, she opens the box on her counter. Photos, receipts, and many items that hold so many memories for her sit in the box. The things that she reaches out for are two paper airplanes.

She runs a hand across his familiar handwriting, memory of the day he gave her that paper airplane rushing through her mind.

_Two years ago…_

_He is looking so handsome in his tux, happiness radiating from his face. They are on the rooftop of her apartment building. Zay stands beside him, and Farkle stands in the middle of them. Beside her, Maya is wiping her eyes and Riley does not doubt that her family is doing the same behind them._

_Riley is sure that the look on Lucas' face is mirroring hers, and as Maya passes her the ring and Zay does the same with Lucas, she has never been more thankful for subways._

" _Riley, would you like to say your vows?" Farkle smiles at her and she nods. She squeezes the hand that perfectly fits in hers, takes the blue paper airplane from Maya and starts reading from it._

" _I vow to always love you with all my heart and in all the forms that you are, and to never doubt that the love we have is timeless. I vow to always be the one you can talk to, to always have meaningful conversations with you and to sit with you in silence when need be. I vow to always have faith and hope in you and in us, and to always keep alive the love we can call home."_

_He kisses her softly, tears in his beautiful eyes. Behind her, she hears her father sniff loudly and both she and Lucas chuckle at that._

" _Lucas," Farkle nods. Lucas takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and Riley chuckles through her tears at his paper airplane. Lucas takes a deep breath and starts reading the words on the wings._

" _I vow to always cherish what we have, and to always remember that what we have is special and irreplaceable. I vow to always believe in Pluto with you, and to always hang on to you when things are rough. I vow to always protect you, especially when the world is against us, and to always choose love over anything else. It's been you since the moment you fell into my lap, Riley, and it will always be you."_

_Her heart melts at his words, and she tries her best to resist the urge to cry. Maya would kill her if she ruined her makeup._

" _Rings?"_

_She grips the ring tightly in her hand._

" _Do you, Lucas Friar, take this woman to be your wife?"_

" _I do."_

" _Do you, Riley Matthews, take this man to be your husband?"_

" _Absolutely," she grins and Lucas chuckles. "I do."_

" _By the power vested in me from the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."_

_She grins into the kiss as he caresses her face. She is vaguely aware of the cheers her families and friends are making. As Lucas pulls away, she is overwhelmed by the love she feels for him, and squeezes his hand tight._

" _I love you," he says and as they walk down the aisle together, her head on his shoulders and her arm around his, she finally feels whole._

She wipes the tears in her eyes at her favorite memory. She made her vows to him on their wedding day two years ago, and she very much intends to keep it.


	2. Resilience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your encouraging comments and kudos! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I realize that this story can be a bit draggy, but please, stick with me through this. Thanks once again for reading!

"Oh, Lucas, we're so glad you're awake," his mother sniffs and he smiles softly at her, enjoying the safety he feels in her embrace. How had he stayed away from her for five years?

"Dad, about our fight –"

"You remember that?"

"No," the younger man shakes his head dejectedly, and misses the relieved look that passes between his parents. "But Riley told me that we fought about school when I left. I'm sorry that I let it escalate the way it did, sir."

His father waves him off, "Let's leave it in the past, Lucas. We both said things I'm sure we regret. There's no point dwelling on it if you cannot remember."

He smiles appreciatively at the man he has always respected. When Riley had told him that he had been estranged from his family for years, he had so much trouble believing her. But then he realised it must have been true since his mother had not been by his side, he had been in a multi patient ward and his sister had not dropped by.

"Umm... Hi."

He looks up at the soft voice, and not for the first time since he woke up, he finds himself wondering about the life she says they had shared together. How complete could their lives had been if it had not involved the people he loved most?

"I'm Riley," she extends her hand to his father, and Lucas notices the way his father avoids eye contact with her. The older man does take her hand though, and shakes it.

"Do you have any idea how upsetting it is to hear that my son has been in a coma for two months and we are the last ones to hear about it?" his mother cries out, and Riley winces and looks down.

He resists the urge to reach out to her, not knowing what to say. Instead, he observes her.

She stares at the ground for a while, and then straightens her shoulders and gives his mother a steady look. A small smile dances on his lips. Ah, so his wife is more of a fighter than she lets on.

"I'm sorry about that, Mrs Friar. I was going to get Zay to contact you when Lucas starts getting better," Riley tells her and his father scoffs at the mention of Zay.

Looks like his parents perceptions of Zay had not changed. Pity, he had hope it would.

"What would that good for nothing man do?" his father questions and annoyance flashes in Riley's eyes. Lucas finds himself tensing, ready to defend his best friend when Riley cuts him off.

"Mr Friar, I would really appreciate it if you would keep your opinions of one of my best friends to yourself," Riley fumes and Lucas sits back to admire the way she crosses her arms across her chest. For the first time, he is starting to realize why he would marry her.

His mother gasps, "How dare you –"

"Mom, that's enough," Lucas squeezes his mother's hand. "You know how important Zay is to me too."

Riley nods at him approvingly. She is about to say something when his doctor walks into the room, clutching his reports.

"Ah, Mr Friar, how are you feeling today?"

"Better. My head doesn't hurt too much," he says. Before his doctor can ask his next question, Lucas answers, "I still don't remember anything."

"Well, that may take awhile, Mr Friar. Right now, the best thing is for you to go back to your normal routine for some stability," the doctor advises and his mother beams at him.

"Whatever he needs, we'll get him the best," his father confirms. "Therapists, specialists. Money is not going to be an issue."

His father glances at Riley as he says so, as if to intimidate her but Riley does not look away. Instead, she regards his father with a steady gaze before planting herself on his other side.

"Well, you can come home with us, baby," his mother runs her hand through his hair. He notices the way Riley stiffens at her statement, and knows that she is going to argue against his mother's suggestion.

He is right.

"With all due respect, Mrs Friar, his normal routine is with me," Riley says politely. "That's what Doctor Rhodes just said."

"Normal routine with you is something he doesn't remember, Riley."

"He will," she says confidently and Lucas wonders how she can have so much hope.

"And if he doesn't, then what, Riley? Are you going to push him into a life he does not want?" his mother sends her a dirty look and he notices the way his wife clenches her jaw.

He wants to defend her, he realizes. He wants to say something so his wife calms down and the pain in her eyes lessen. He wants his mother to stop hurting Riley with her words.

"Funny you should say that," Riley hisses. "When I haven't heard you ask Lucas what he wants either."

"You don't have to decide this right now," Doctor Rhodes positions himself in between the two women and Lucas heaves a small sigh of relief. The doctor gives both women a warning look, and Riley backs off, standing by his side again. His mother, on the other hand, stands beside her husband, both of them giving off the united front he has grown up to be accustomed to.

He'd decided since his parents came that he would return with them, and that living with a woman he barely knows seems ridiculous. Seeing Riley fight for him the way she just had makes him doubt his decision.

"Mom, Dad, may I have a moment with Riley, please?"

"Lucas –"

"Please?" he asks again, and his mother sighs in defeat. She pecks him on the cheek, not even looking at Riley, grabs her bag and leaves the room. His father nods at him, and he and Doctor Rhodes leave the room together.

Silence reigns between them until Riley says, "Please come home with me."

"I don't know you," he says and though his tone is anything but harsh, his words make her wince. "Riley, I don't even know how we were together. I mean, how do I even know that we're married?"

"You're doubting my word now?"

"I don't know you," he repeats impatiently. "What proof do you have that we belong together?"

"You mean aside from our marriage?" she asks incredulously and he shrugs.

"People get married for all kinds of reasons," he says matter-of-factly. "Like a green card."

"I was born and raised in New York," she tells him.

He finds his patience wearing thin at her excuses, and starts clenching and unclenching his fist, an attempt to keep his temper under control.

"You do that when you're trying to control your temper," she speaks softly as she points to his hands. There are tears in her eyes as she regards him, and though her shoulders are straight and her back is arched, her voice takes on a desperate tone as she continues, "When you were four years old, your Pappy Joe gave you a sack of gold. You really thought you were rich until you saw that Zay had the same thing and you saw that they were bubblegum. You still refused to open it, because you decided that it would always be a sack of gold to you."

His eyes widen at her words. He does not remember being comfortable enough to share that story with anyone, not even Missy when they had been engaged.

"When your Pappy Joe died, you opened it but there hadn't been bubblegum in it," she raises her left hand, and the metal glistens in the light. His breath hitches at the sight of the piece of jewelry. Riley finishes off, "It was your grandmothers' ring, along with a few of her bracelets. You realized that when one is finally able to let go of the past, the future can bring something so much better."

"I told you that?"

She smiles sadly at him, "You told me everything. We used to talk for hours."

He looks at her, and the hope that still shines in her eyes amazes him. She thinks that she has convinced him to stay with her, that a little story would sway him.

She is right.

The memory of the day Pappy Joe died is one of the things he still remembers. He had been eighteen, and had felt so angry at the world. He remembers the way he had chopped through many pieces of wood, and that finding the sack of gold in his drawer had led to him being in a foul mood for the rest of the week. Most of his friends had stayed away except for Zay who had stood by him when he ripped apart the sack of gold, and out fell the ring.

He had bought Missy another ring when he proposed two years later. She would not have appreciated the simple ring.

Apparently, he had thought Riley would. He had felt vulnerable enough to open up to her about Pappy Joe. That said something.

"One month," he gives her and she stares at him. "If there are no changes, I want a divorce."

She gulps at his words, and he ignores the guilt that claws at him when he sees the hurt on her pretty face.

It takes a while, but she nods and once again, silence engulfs the room. Lucas closes his eyes and sighs. It's going to be a long month.

* * *

"He wants a divorce?!"

Riley puts her hands over her face. She is sure that if she looks up, she is going to see her best friends either looking at her with sympathy or disbelief.

"Can you blame him, Maya? He doesn't remember his life with her," Smackle says from across her. Riley takes her hands off, exasperatedly regarding her blatantly realistic friend.

"Inside voice, Smackle," she groans. Smackle smiles apologetically.

"One month," Riley softly says and looks at her friends for support. "I have one month to make my husband fall in love with me again."

"Honey, he fell hard and fast the first time you were together. Why should this be any different?"

"The difference, Peaches, is that he had his memories the last time. He thought he was still engaged to Missy when he woke up," Riley tells them.

Maya rubs her shoulders, and Riley leans on to her. Smackle and Josh are looking at her in sympathy while Farkle is looking at her with raised eyebrows, as though he is challenging her.

She asks him, "How much are you rooting for me right now?"

He softens at her pathetic tone. Farkle takes her hands and squeezes it, "The same as I always have. We're here for you, Riles."

Maya and Smackle nod at his words, and Josh places his arms around her, giving a comforting squeeze. Not for the first time, she wonders how it is possible that she got so lucky to have her friends in her life. They have never let her down, and their support is what makes her almost sure that she can win her husband back.

"I know."

* * *

They return to their apartment the following night, and Lucas takes in the sight of the tall buildings and busy people on the streets as Riley drives them home. His shoulders are tensed as he shakes his legs the whole way. He notices from the corner of his eyes that she keeps reaching out to touch him before she refrains from doing so and pulls her hand back instead.

It is a gesture he really appreciates. He is not comfortable enough to be intimate with her.

When they reach their apartment, she hands him a key. He turns in over in his hand, the unfamiliar object cool against his palm.

"My parents and brother live there," she points to the apartment across the hall and he raises his eyes at that. "They would have seen you at the hospital but I told them to wait a while. You'll probably see them tomorrow."

"Thanks for that," he nods and turns away. "Why do we live so close to your parents?"

She opens the door, gesturing for him to enter and says, "It was my apartment before you moved in too. I've had it since college cause it's near to the fashion institute. We live here with Zay, actually. You really loved it here. Said it was homey."

'Homey' is one word to describe it, he thinks as he looks around. It is weird being in a place she is telling him that he had once called 'home' and not feeling a sense of kinship to it at all.

"Why does Zay live with us?"

"We can't afford rent on our own yet," Riley shrugs. "You're still just an intern and I just started at Demolition a few months ago. We're still on the way to being financially steady."

"Demolition?"

"It's a boutique downtown. I'll show you tomorrow if you're up for it," she promises and he nods again. "I'm going to fix you some food and then show you around the house, okay? Why don't you just relax on the couch?"

He is tired again, he realizes. He just wants to lay on his bed, close his eyes and maybe when he wakes up, he can either get his memory back again or return back to when his life was not so complicated.

"Hey, Riley? You wouldn't mind if I just head to bed, would you? I'm just really tired," he calls out and she walks out of the kitchen.

"Sure," she says and leads him to their bedroom.

Their bedroom is another world altogether. Pictures of Riley and him scatter the walls, along with people he does not know. He looked really happy in the pictures though, and from the way they looked at each other, he would guess that Riley had made him happy.

"We have a bay window?" he asks incredulously.

She smiles fondly at it and says softly, "Yeah, it's really special to me."

She does not explain further, and he does not ask. Once again, silence reigns through them.

"Uh, you can have the bed," she tells him. "I'll be outside if you need me."

"But where will you sleep?"

"The couch's pretty comfortable," she shrugs nonchalantly and turns to walk out.

Lucas frowns. "I'm not okay with that."

He watches as she freezes at his words and slowly turns to him. She is looking at him as cautiously, as though she is aware that he is not going to back down.

"It's really not a big deal, Lucas," she insists but he shakes his head stubbornly.

"You can have the bed, Riley. I'll take the couch."

"Absolutely not," she rolls her eyes. "You just got back from the hospital, Lucas. I am not okay with you being on the couch."

"Didn't you just say that it's comfortable?" he smirks at her and she narrows her eyes at him.

"Don't you use my words against me," she puts her hands on her hips. When he crosses his arms across his chest, she purses her lips, as though she is trying to stop herself from smiling. He knows this because though she is not smiling, her eyes are alight with amusement.

She once again puzzles him. What could possibly be so amusing?

"How about a compromise?" she suggests and he waits. "I'll sleep here," she gestures to the bay window. "I promise it's comfortable. And no, you are not taking my spot."

He sighs when he realizes that that is the best deal he is going to get. He does not like the idea of her giving up her comfortable bed for him but at the same time, he knows he will be tensed throughout the night if she sleeps beside him. She is still a stranger to him.

And yet, everything she has done has made him feel anything but uncomfortable. She had given space at the hospital, only stepping in when she had needed to fight his parents for him. She had not touched him intimately once, though he has seen her retract her hands from touching him more than once. She has been nothing but accommodating to him.

The least he could do is not make it harder on her than it already it.

"Thank you, Riley," he says and her eyes soften at him.

"You don't ever have to thank me for anything."

* * *

"What are you still doing up, Sugar?"

She pauses the video she is watching on her laptop, and smiles sadly at her roommate. Zay squeezes her shoulder and plops himself beside her. He looks at her laptop screen and sympathy mars his handsome face.

"Reminiscing the good old days, huh?"

"There'll be many more good days," her voice shakes. Zay looks at her, his eyebrows raised.

That is when she loses it.

Tears stream down her cheeks as she tries to suppress her tears. Sobs wreck through her petite body, and she leans into Zay to bury her face into his chest. His comforting arms surround her as she cries, and her friend stays silent throughout as he lets her let it out.

"Better?" he asks when she quiets down. The designer nods, wiping her tears. She still feels as though the weight of the world is on her shoulders, bur her heart does feel lighter. "He'll get his memory back, Riles."

"And what if he doesn't?" she asks tiredly, lifting her head to look at Zay.

If there is one person in the world who has always been honest with her, it is him. He has always believed that she is strong enough to handle the ugly truths, even when Maya and Farkle had not. He has always been the one to bring her out of the shelter her family and friends insist on keeping her under. He has always been the one to be real with her.

But for once, he does not have the answers. For once, he shrugs at her helplessly.

"I don't know, Riles," he admits and takes her hand. "But I do know that when the times comes, the decision you make will be the right one for him."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you just want him to be happy," he says what she already knows. "That's all you've hoped for since he fell into your lap on the subway all those years ago. You just want him to be happy."

* * *

He awakens to the smell of bacon and eggs. Lucas looks to the left to see his wife still sleeping at the bay window. He frowns at the sight of her.

Tear tracks are visible on her pretty face, and her eyebrows are furrowed. She is griping a faceless bear in one hand closely, and her laptop rests near her head. He takes it away from her, putting it on the dresser, gives her one final look and leaves the room.

"Smells good," he tells his best friend.

"Tell me something I don't know," Zay grins and Lucas chuckles as he pours himself some milk. His best friend regards him, "How did you sleep?"

"Quite well, actually," Lucas realizes, his tone surprised.

"Listen, Lucas, I've been wanting to talk to you about something and –"

He never gets to hear what Zay has been wanting to talk to him about because it is at that moment that Maya bursts into their apartment, along with two other people he does not know.

One of them is a man with sandy brown hair and the other is a bespectacled woman. They both look as though they could be around his age, and he recognizes them from the photos on the walls.

The woman he does not know smiles at him as she gives him an awkward wave.

"Lucas! Good to see you out and about," Maya pats him on his back. She makes herself comfortable on the chair beside him, her hands on her pregnant stomach as she sighs in relief.

"You guys have the key to our apartment?" he asks and stares at them in disbelief when they show him the exact replicas of the key Riley had given him earlier. "Why?"

"We're comfortable here," the woman he does not know answers. She steps forward and raises her hand, "Isadora Smackle. Please, call me Smackle."

He shakes her hand and she points to the man, "That's Farkle Minkus, my fiancé."

"Umm… nice to meet you?"

"Oh, we've met a lot. You just don't remember," she waves him off and sits beside Maya.

Lucas furrows his eyebrows as Maya hits Smackle on her shoulder, certain that he had just heard Maya hiss, "Inside voice, Smackle."

"Inside voice?"

"Okay, seriously, barging in here is impolite, you hooligans," Zay sighs exasperatedly.

"Dude, we have this conversation every time you find us here," Maya rolls her eyes.

"Well, we will keep having this conversation until it gets through your thick skulls," Zay quips.

Pretty soon, they are both bickering. Smackle helpfully adds in a few comments, though Lucas is not exactly sure whose side she is on. Farkle, on the other hand, remains silent as he regards Lucas, and the Texan shifts in his seat comfortably.

"How's Riley?" he asks Lucas softly.

"Err…"

"Oh gosh, it is too early for all of you to be making this much noise," his wife groans as she pushes Farkle out of the seat he had occupied. She grins cutely at her friend, grabs a piece of bacon and stuffs it into her mouth.

"You're lucky you're my first wife," Farkle says to Riley and Lucas chokes on the milk he sips. He feels Riley pat his back soothingly, and looks at her to find her glaring at Farkle. The man sheepishly smiles at her.

"You were married?!"

"In middle school, Farkle made Riley and I his wives because he loved us both equally," Maya laughs and Lucas relaxes. "He divorced us when he met Smackle."

"An upgrade, if I may say so," Smackle cheekily says and Maya mock gasps.

"No, you may not!"

They continue bickering again, and soon, everyone else is engaged in their own banter. Zay, Maya and Smackle go back to whatever they were arguing about earlier while Farkle asks Riley about her plans.

He feels like an outsider as he watches them interact. Though Riley tries to include him in the conversation she is having with her friend, Lucas gives them one-word answers. His once good mood turns sour as he excuses himself and marches to his room.

He stares at the different pictures, his heart beating really fast at the sight of memories he does not have.

He does not remember smiling at Riley as though she is the best thing in the world when they were both standing at the altar on their wedding day. He does not remember smashing cake onto Zay's face while Maya and Farkle laugh in the background. He does not remember being in a white coat as he carried a puppy in a place he assumes is the clinic he interned at.

Anger courses through him. How is this fair? Why is he even here? Why is he giving Riley hope that things will go back to the way they were?

"Lucas?"

He glares at her, and she closes the door behind her when she sees his face.

"I'm sorry if we made – "

"Made me what, Riley?" he explodes. "You're sorry that I feel like an outsider? Like I have no idea how to act around you or your friends?"

She opens her mouth to argue but he cuts her off, "And don't you dare tell me that they're my friends too because they aren't, Riley. I don't know them!"

"Lucas, please – "

"This is bullshit!" he screams as he grabs a few photos of them with her friends off the wall and throws it to the ground. "I am not the man in these photos."

Silence. She looks at the ground as he sinks onto the bed, putting his face into his hands.

"I want to go home," he tells her. "I – I can't do this, Riley."

"Lucas, it's only been one night," her voice cracks as tears brim her eyes and he looks away. "Please, don't leave."

He gets up and walks to the door.

"I'm sorry."

He walks into the living room to find four pairs of eyes looking at him, each with different emotions. Maya's eyes are burning with anger, and she glares at him as she waddles to Riley's bedroom. Farkle is clenching his jaw, though Lucas thinks he sees a mixture of sympathy and anger in them. His best friend is looking at him with a knowing look, sadness edged on his face.

The look Smackle gives him is the one that makes him most uncomfortable. She is looking at him with narrowed eyes, as though she is analyzing him.

He is about to apologize to them and excuse himself when she puts her hand up, effectively stopping him from talking.

She turns to her husband first, "Go make sure Bubbles is okay. Zay, Lucas and I need to have a talk."

Farkle nods at her, giving her a peck as he walks to Riley's room, not sparing Lucas another glance.

"Riley is not your punching bag," Smackle sternly tells him, and Lucas opens his mouth to defend himself. She holds up her hand again, effectively cutting him off again. "I cannot imagine how hard this is for you, Lucas. I know things look hopeless right now. But you losing your temper is not going to help anything or anyone in this situation."

They know about his temper.

He startles at that piece of information, and looks at Smackle with narrowed eyes.

"I have every right to be angry, Smackle. And no offence, but I don't know you. Who the hell are you to tell me what to feel or how to act?"

"Lucas, man, you have to calm down," Zay stands protectively in front of Smackle and Lucas bristles at that gesture.

Great, so his best friend feels more loyal to Riley and her friends than him.

"Zay, what the hell – "

"The Lucas I know always kept his word," Smackle interjects and pushes forward. She is looking at him, unfazed by his temper. "Even before you got together with Riley. Even before we became a group of six. Zay was always telling us about his best from Texas whom he could always trust to keep his word. Are you going to tell me that that Lucas is gone too?"

He clenches his jaw, and sinks onto the couch. She is right. He is a man of his word.

"You promised Riley a month," she reminds him.

He closes his eyes. He feels trapped, as though his breath has left his lungs. He knows that he will be staying right then, but dreads the month ahead. It is just the first day, and it feels as though so much has gone wrong. How is he supposed to survive the month?

"Thank you, Dora," Riley sniffs and he stands up to look at her.

Guilt tugs at his heart at the sight of the tears on her cheeks.

Unlike the mess she was in when he left her a few minutes ago though, she is holding her head high as she regards him. Determination shines through her eyes.

"You shouldn't have to feel trapped in your own home, Lucas," she shakes her head before turning to her friends, "Can you guys give us a minute, please?"

Her friends nod, and Maya sends him a warning glance before they go into Riley's room. The brunette gestures for him to seat down, and she takes her place on the opposite side of the couch. She wrings her hands again and looks down.

"Let's go to Texas," she says and he looks at her in surprise. "I'm not giving up on us, Lucas, but I will never want you to feel as though you have to stay here because you gave me your word. If being in Texas will make you feel more at ease, then let's go to Texas. Together."

He blinks at her in disbelief.

She still does not look at him, and he is thankful that she does not. If she did, she might see him looking at her with such wonderment and the hope she has for them might escalate again.

"Okay," he softly agrees and smiles uncertainly at her when she finally looks at him. "Let's go to Texas."

She is not giving up on him. He has just yelled at her, showed her the ugly side of him he has tried so hard so suppress since he was eighteen. How is it that she is still with him? How is that she is still willing to fight for him?

* * *

_4 years ago…_

_He is in her dining room, hunched over scattered papers on the table. The light from the laptop illuminates his stressed expression, with his eyebrows furrowed and mouth in a tight frown. The tension in his shoulders relaxes though when he feels her comforting arms around him. He looks up from his papers to smile at her, and she glances down at him with loving eyes._

" _Maybe you need a break," she suggests, pecking him on his lips before letting go._

" _It's only a few more hours, Riles."_

_He can see how much she is resisting forcing him to rest. They've only been together for three months, and yet, he knows that if there is anyone who knows by now that he does not appreciate being taken away from his studying just a few more hours before his exams, it is Riley._

_She'd been there when he had crumbled under pressure for his midterm, lashing out at anyone who tried to get him to slow down. She'd seen how difficult it had been for him to cope, and how he had lashed out at Zay and Maya when they had tried to get him to relax. She'd been there when he came back to his senses, guilt wrenching him when he realized he had hurt his friends. She'd been there when he had apologized._

_She'd seen him at his worst, and she is still with him._

_He loves her. He wants a future with her. It surprises him how fast he has fallen for her. Most people would not plan a future with their girlfriend just three months after dating, would they? But it is what he is doing. He just wishes that he knows for sure if she is on the same page._

" _Okay," she says and walks away from him and into her bedroom. He frowns, wondering if she is upset at how difficult he is being._

_He is about to get up and push his books away to console his girlfriend when she comes back into the dining room, her own papers and folders in her hands. She places them on the empty space opposite him, winking at him when she opens her folder and starts sketching._

_His heart swells at her gesture, wondering how it is possible that he falls for her harder each moment she is with him. She is not asking him to stop, nor is she asking to push himself. She gave him a choice to make his decision earlier, and when he did, she shows that she supports him._

_God, he loves her so much._

_He is brought out of his thoughts when she snaps her fingers in front of his face._

" _You're staring again," she says. She gets up, reaches across the table to take him hand and squeezes it. "C'mon, Lucas, you have a final to ace."_

" _And if I don't?"_

" _I believe in you," she shrugs. "I will always believe in you."_

_It is not the first time she has said this, and he knows it will not be the last. Still, his heart soars and he wonders how someone could have so much faith in him. He wonders how someone could be so amazing that they'd stay up with the one they love._

_He grins at his realization, "You love me."_

" _Well, yeah," she affirms easily, though he can see her wringing her hands, a tell that she shows when she is nervous._

_He gets up and walks to her side of the table and takes her face in his hands. He caresses her cheek and she leans into his touch._

" _I love you too, you know," he tells her and she beams at him. Ah, another moment he is sure he will remember for the rest of his life: her in the dining room in his sweatshirt, her face in his hands and her heart is his as much his heart is hers._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do y'all think? Too long? Too draggy? I value your opinions so much :)


	3. Sans Espoir

He is trying to explain his decision to Zay when he hears the front door of the apartment creak as it opens. He looks at his friend, puzzled, and walks to the living room, stopping in his tracks when a teenager with curly hair walks in.

The teenager is another person Lucas recognizes from the photos on the apartment walls. The teen nods at Zay, and holds a steady gaze with Lucas.

The Texan shifts uncomfortably, not used to feeling intimated by a teenager who is looking at him with wariness. With a start, he realizes that the teenager has the same brown orbs as his wife, and Lucas comes to a conclusion.

"You're Riley's brother," he states and Riley's brother holds out his hand. Lucas takes it firmly and shakes it, confused when Riley's brother lets go and walks over to the kitchen. "I'm sorry I cannot remember your name."

"Auggie," the teenager tells him and Lucas nods. He then turns to Zay and gives him a sheepish smile. "Sorry, we ran out of milk at home."

"I gotta move further," Zay jokes.

"We have this conversation – "

"Every time you come over. I know," Zay exasperatedly hits Auggie at the back of his head.

Once again, Lucas feels like an outsider as he watches them interact. There is just too much about Riley's life, and so much about Zay's, that he just does not know about.

He squashes down the dreaded feeling in his stomach. Just one more day and he would be in Texas.

"Riley says you're going to Texas," Auggie stares at him with a raised eyebrow and Lucas nods. "I just need to tell you one thing."

Lucas waits, observing as the young man straightens up and looks at him with vulnerability. Auggie suddenly looks so much younger, and Lucas feels the intense need to protect this boy.

"Lucas, whatever you do," Auggie says softly, sounding almost as though he is pleading. "Please do not hurt my sister."

His breath hitches at Auggie's words, and he wonders how they can make him feel as though the world around him has stopped. His respect for the younger Matthews has increased tenfold, and his guilt at shouting at Riley the day before returns.

* * *

"Riley, honey, are you sure?" her mother asks and she gives Topanga a sad smile. She shrugs at her mother, and buries her face into her father's chest when she feels Cory's comforting arms around her.

She does not have to look up to know that her parents are looking at each other worriedly, having their own conversation with their eyes.

Growing up, she had been jealous of the way they could always communicate without talking. She had been jealous of the way they could just look at each other, and know what the other was thinking. She had been jealous of the way a tilt of the head from her mother, or a sheepish grin from her father, could start or end a whole conversation without their mouths uttering a single word.

She got over her jealousy when she and Maya became best friends, and became in tuned with each other. She felt even happier when she realized that she could do it with Lucas too.

Having silent conversations with her husband is another thing she misses dearly.

"I have to try," she lifts her head and looks to her parents for comfort.

Her father takes her hand, and traces a heart over her palm. Her mother then traces a heart over her face.

They used to do that for her when things were rough while she was growing up. It comforted back when she had fought with Maya for a few days in middle school, she was dealing with bullies in high school, and when she was slaving through her finals in college.

It still comforts her now, long after her school years.

Her parents kiss her on the cheek at the same time.

Topanga is about to say something, but Riley cuts her off, saying the words she knows by heart, "No matter how difficult life gets, the important thing is to live it with hope."

* * *

Riley is over at her parent's apartment while Lucas packs the last of his things, familiarizing himself with recent lifestyle choices that he made before the accident.

Zay is looking at him with understanding, with no hint of judgment like he always has. There is a touch of sadness though, and Lucas does not have to ask to know that Zay thinks that he is making a mistake.

"Zay, I – "

"You don't ever have to explain anything to me, Luke," his best friend cuts him off and Lucas sighs in relief. "I can't even imagine not being able to remember Sarah or Sarah not being able to remember me."

"Sarah?"

"My girlfriend," Zay tells him and Lucas blanches.

"Sarah from high school?" he asks and Zay grins goofily. "The girl you had a crush on the first day in your new high school?"

"That's the one," Zay confirms and Lucas sinks onto the bed. There is so much about his best friend he does not know, and he feels the familiar sense of loss.

"Zay, I still – "

"You left Texas, angry with your family, and you came straight to me five years ago," Zay tells him and Lucas shuts his mouth to listen to him. "You were a mess, man, and for a whole year, you were so angry. You dropped out of Stanford. You refused to have anything to do with your family, and no matter how much I asked, you wouldn't tell me what happened. You became the person you were before Pappy Joe passed."

Lucas' eyes widened at the revelation. He remembers the day he found the ring in his sack of gold after Pappy Joe passed. He remembers vowing to be the man that Pappy Joe had always believed him to be. He remembers being determined to be better.

How bad could the argument with his parents have been to change him back to the person he promised to never be again?

Zay continues, on a roll, oblivious to Lucas' thoughts. "You met her a year later at one of my parties and man, I really wished I had taken a picture of your face and hers. You used to tell me that you felt as though fate was finally on your side."

"Wait, Riley told me that we first met on the subway when she fell into my lap," Lucas' eyes are furrowed as confusion mars his face.

"You did," Zay chuckles. "But you didn't exchange numbers. You were so sure that you would never see her again until you saw her at my party. You believed it was the universe's way of telling you to not let her go. So you didn't."

Lucas tries to picture himself with such hope and ideals. He cannot.

Who is Riley Matthews? And how did she get him to believe that he could be better?

"She's the best thing that has happened to you," Zay softly says. Lucas pauses in his packing and looks at his best friend.

He thinks about the way she could have blackmailed him into staying but instead suggested that they go to Texas where he would be more confortable. He thinks about the pictures on their bedroom wall, and how in each picture, the love he once had for her is so obvious. He thinks about the way she has not forced anything on him, not her touches or her views.

She has been nothing short of amazing, and though he is still sure that their marriage has a higher chance of failing, Lucas nods at his friend, "I'm starting to see why."

* * *

"It's beautiful out here, isn't it?"

Riley turns around to face the older woman, nodding at Lucas' mother when she approaches her.

"Lucas told me that it was your suggestion for him to come home," Anne treads lightly as the younger woman stiffens at her words. "That you wanted him to be in a more comfortable environment."

For the first time since they met, Anne looks at her with appreciation. Her green eyes reflect the kindness that Riley often admires in Lucas.

"Thank you," Anne says and Riley shrugs, trying not to let her emotions get the best of her. "I know it has not been easy for you, especially seeing him in his element here."

There is no malice in her tone but Riley still feels the sting at truth behind her mother-in-law's words.

It had been especially hard for the past three days since they first arrived in Texas. She had felt like an outsider when Lucas had reunited with his family. She had watched from the sidelines when he met his sister again after five years, happy for him and yet feeling so out of place when he had hesitated to introduce her to Peggy. She had felt even more isolated at the party his parents had just thrown him, excusing herself to sit on the front porch.

If this is how uncomfortable Lucas had felt in New York with her, she is just glad that he is no longer feeling the way she feels now.

She had sat down on the steps of the front porch, wrapping her arms around herself as the cold air engulfs her. It was what they used to do in New York. The stars in Texas are a lot more visible and beautiful though, and not for the first time, she misses him.

She misses the way he would wrap his arms around her tightly, and she would feel as though nothing could hurt her. She misses the way he would tell her about his life in Texas as they gaze at the stars, and she would tell him about the trouble she and her friends would get themselves into before he came into her life. He would kiss her head and she would take his hands in hers and kiss his hands.

She still has hope that they will have those moments again, even if those moments seem so far away right now.

"He was feeling trapped with me," Riley admits and jumps in surprise when Anne takes her hand. Anne hangs on though, and after a moment, Riley relaxes. Anne squeezes her hands comfortingly.

"No, Riley. He was feeling trapped in a life he does not remember having."

"That life is with me," tears cloud her eyes and she desperately tries to blink it away.

They sit in silence again, and Riley is thankful when Anne does not let go. The older woman is looking at the stars with her, and it is only after a moment that she speaks again.

"Did he tell you why he left five years ago?"

Riley warily nods and Anne sighs.

"And you didn't tell him this time," Anne states the obvious. "Why?"

"It isn't my place," Riley shrugs. She then regards her mother-in-law steadily. "But I do believe that he should know. It is the secrets and lies that pulled you apart the last time, Mrs Friar. Please don't let them come between you and your son again."

Anne looks at her in wonderment, and Riley shifts under her gaze.

"You could have told him, you know?" Anne insists softly, tears in her eyes. "You could have told him, and he would have stayed in New York with you."

"I love your son, Mrs Friar," Riley shakes her head. "And I want his love but not that way. Not at the expense of his family."

"I'm sorry, Riley," Anne says, apology shining through her emerald eyes. "I'm sorry I was not very nice to you at first. I saw you, and I saw the woman who took my son away."

Riley opens her mouth to defends herself but Anne cuts her off, "I know he only met you a year after he left us. I was being irrational and rude, and I am apologizing for that now."

She smiles at her mother-in-law, feeling lighter for the first time since she arrived in Texas.

"If you don't mind me confirming, Mrs Friar, whose – "

"Please call me Anne," she says.

"Anne, your birthday is on the eighth of September, correct?"

"Yes."

"And what about the nineteenth of April and sixth of October?"

"That would be Bill's and Peggy's," Anne furrows her bros at Riley's random question. The blonde woman waits for her daughter-in-law to continue and what Riley says next makes her freeze.

"He used to get really sad on those days," Riley says. "He would keep looking at his phone. He'd dial your numbers and he'd almost press the 'call' button. But he never could because he was still so angry with all of you. He would try to play it off but I could always see how much it was hurting him that you weren't in his life."

She hesitantly covers Anne's hands with hers, and squeezes. The Friar matriarch sniffs and looks at her thankfully.

"For what it's worth, Riley," Anne kindly says. "I am glad he found you. Now, why don't you tell me about how you both met? Where did you go for your first date? I want to hear all about what I missed with my son."

* * *

"I'm so happy you're back, Lukey," his older sister grins at him. He smiles at her from his spot on the tree house.

They used to climb the tree house together when they were younger. He would come up when things were getting particularly rough in school, or when he needed to cool down after a fight with his father. His sister would be there with him almost every time, and she would either just sit with him or talk to him.

He remembers that he had not always got along with his parents, but he had always known that Peggy would be there for him.

Or so he had thought. Apparently, the fight he had with his family was enough for him to stay away.

It had been getting too crowded and suffocating for him at the homecoming party his parents had thrown him. While it had been nice to catch up with people he apparently had lost touch with, it was still awkward to answer questions about his memory loss.

"I am too," he smiles contently as he wraps his arms around her. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you for five years, Peg."

His sister waves him off, "Let's not talk about that. It was a hard time for all of us."

He wants to tell her that he does not remember it at all, and that he does think that he owes her an apology. How could he not apologize when he has missed so many milestones in the life of the woman he has always promised to be there for?

He can see that she does not want to talk about it though, and so asks instead, "How's Adam?"

His sister's smile slide off her face at his question, and Lucas suddenly feels the need to protect. Her eyes are sad as she seems to contemplate her next words.

"He isn't in your life anymore, is he?" he asks softly and when Peggy shakes her head, he pulls her to him again. "I'm sorry, Peg. What happened?"

"I really don't want to talk about it, Lucas," his sister smiles at him sorrowfully and Lucas drops it, making a mental note to ask his mother later. He watches as his sister composes herself, taking a deep breath before she smiles at him to assure him that she is alright. "So, Riley, huh?"

He does not know what to say about the wife he does not remember and just shrugs. His sister nudges him.

"Well, she seems really amazing if she's willing to come with you all the way here from New York," Peggy adds. "She must really love you."

"That's the thing, Peg," he sighs. "I'm not the man she fell in love with. I don't remember being that man. And she's just going to get her heart broken more than it already has when we have to sign our divorce papers."

And that is the real issue, isn't it? That Riley is willing to travel with him to the ends of the earth but he could not even stay a week in New York with her.

He will admit that he is lucky to have her. The sincerity she has shown him has been nothing short of remarkable. She has been so patient, and yet, he knows that he is not going to change his mind. Coming back to Texas has confirmed that.

His family is here. His life is here.

He is not the same man from the pictures in Riley's bedroom, and he does not think he will ever be again.

"You don't have faith in your marriage?" his sister asks, eyes wide.

Lucas shakes his head, "I don't. And when the time comes, I am not going to hold on to something that I do not believe in."

* * *

_4 years ago…_

" _Lucas, about time man," Zay claps him on the back as he steers them through his apartment._

_The twenty-year old Cornell student sighs as Zay guides him to the drinks, tired and not really in the mood to be at a party filled with people. The only reason he is here is because Zay had put his foot down._

_Zay had moved into a new apartment a week ago and he had invited Lucas to come over for his housewarming party. And if there is anybody he knows that can throw a party, it is Zay._

_The problem is that he is not in the mood for a party. He just completed an assignment that is due the next day after spending three days camped at the library and all Lucas wants is to go home, shower, and sleep for the next week. If he was lucky, maybe he'd dream of the brunette he met in the subway three weeks ago._

_He has not stopped thinking about her since their meeting, and has cursed himself multiple times for not getting her number. It has been a year since he has moved to New York, and no one has made his heart race as fast as she did. He had been on several dates, but none of his dates had made him want to sit on the subway at the same time he had met Riley on the off chance she fall into his lap again._

_No, that would mean him behaving a lot more like a stalker and so, he forces himself out of bed punctually everyday, and not ten minutes later like he had been on the day he met Riley._

" _Oh, turn that frown upside down, will you?" Zay rolls his eyes and Lucas is brought out of his thoughts. "You've been working so hard at school, you nerd. Time to de-stress."_

_Lucas is about to say something when a loud crash sounds in the living room and Zay's eyes widen in horror. The best friends look at each other, chug the beers they just poured for themselves and head to the living room._

" _Oh shit," Zay curses as he inspects the broken vase while everyone else cheers and continues dancing or socializing. His best friend turns to him, and Lucas raises his hands as he slowly backs away, not wanting to be stuck with cleaning it up._

" _Zay Isaiah Babineaux!" a loud voice shrilly calls out, and Lucas is shoved aside as a brunette storms towards Zay, hands on her hips. "What the hell is going on?"_

_Lucas freezes at the sight of her and her voice. It can't be._

" _Riley, I can explain – "_

" _You got excited about moving in, threw a housewarming party and more people showed up than you actually invited?" she taps her hand on her hips and Zay smiles sheepishly._

" _Oh, this is going to be good," a feminine voice chuckles beside him and he turns. A familiar blonde woman stands beside him, her eyes lit with amusement at the scene in front of them. When she lifts her head to look at him, her eyes widen in surprise before she laughs. "Oh, it just got even better. How're you doing, Subway Boy?"_

_It is as though all the stress and tiredness from earlier has disappeared. Instead, excitement courses through him for the first time in a long while, and Lucas finds himself grinning as his eyes roam to the brunette that has drifted in and out of his thoughts for three weeks._

_It is her._

_He wants to reply her but the words cannot leave his mouth. His heart feels as though it is going to burst so instead, he nods at the blonde and turns to watch the scene unfold._

_Riley is still unaware of anything else as she regards Zay angrily. Lucas can tell though, that whatever anger she is feeling is slowly leaving her as her shoulders start to lose the tension in them. It could be due to the fact that Zay is looking at her pleadingly, apology shining through his brown eyes._

" _Aww, c'mon Riles, I just wanted to celebrate finally having an amazing place and an even more amazing roommate," Zay grins as he wraps his arm around her from the side. Lucas chuckles as Riley rolls her eyes and slaps Zay's arm away._

" _Stop trying to butter me up, you goof," Riley scoffs. "You're cleaning all of this up."_

" _Sugar, you know you can count on me. My mama raised me right," Zay proudly grins and Riley laughs as she shoves him again. "Now, c'mon, I want to introduce you to my friend from Texas."_

_That is all the warning Lucas gets before her eyes meet his. Her beautiful brown orbs widen at the sight of him, and she gapes. Suddenly, it feels as though they are the only two people in the room as she and Zay approach him._

" _Riley, this is – "_

" _Lucas," she breathes and clears her throat when she seems to realize how nervous she sounds. "Hi."_

_God, she's adorable._

" _Hey," he smiles nervously._

" _Hi," she says again and he feels as though his heart is going to burst._

" _Well, aren't you two adorable?" her blonde friend laughs and Zay regards them in confusion._

" _Wait, you two know each other?"_

" _We, uh, met on the subway a few weeks ago. I kinda fell into his lap," Riley tells his best friend as a pretty blush spreads through her cheeks._

_Zay burst out laughing. "Wait, Riley is the girl you haven't shut up about?"_

_Heat spreads through his cheeks as he shoots his best friend a dirty look. Zay raises his hand with a smirk._

" _Well, Huckleberry, if it makes you feel any better, she hasn't shut up about you either."_

" _Maya!" Riley gasps and her friend just grins at her._

_Lucas turns to Riley, ignoring the interested looks Zay and Maya sends his way._

_Riley is looking down, her cheeks still red as she wrings her hands. For the first time in a long while, Lucas feels as though he is in middle school again, nervous at the thought of asking a girl out but still excited for her answer because he is almost certain that she will say yes._

" _Well, since we both cannot stop talking about each other, why don't we start talking to each other?" he asks as he rubs the back of his neck._

" _Smooth, Ranger Rick," Maya snorts and Zay laughs._

_Riley, on the other hand, is looking at him with a shy smile. "I would love that, Lucas."_

_She beams at him and gestures to the couch, taking a seat. He is vaguely aware of Zay and Maya's side comments, but they are just a faint buzz in his ears._

_As the night wears on, he forgets about how tired he previously felt. Riley and him talk for hours as they get to know each other._

_He finds out about her family, about how her father is a teacher, her mother is a lawyer and her brother is in middle school. He realizes how important her friends are to her, and how Zay and Maya – along with her other two friends called Farkle and Smackle – hold a large piece of her heart. She tells him about how she is studying to be a fashion designer, and how she hopes to have her own clothing line in the future._

_In return, he tells her about how he had originally wanted to be a lawyer, but then realized that he wanted to be a vet more. He tells her about how he dropped out of Stanford, and how he and his family do not talk much. He tells her about his life back in Texas, about how an incident with a pregnant horse cemented his desire to work with animals._

_It is three in the morning when Zay comes up to them, smirking. Lucas looks around, eyes wide when he realizes that they are the only ones left. Riley seems as surprised as he does._

" _Maya's in your room, Riles. She turned in an hour ago," Zay tells her and Riley nods. "Lucas, you can have the couch tonight."_

" _That's okay man. I think I'll head out," Lucas gets up, feeling a hint of disappointment._

_It has been so long since he is able to talk to someone so openly. What is it about this woman that makes him want to let everything out? It could be the way she seems so genuine and that she sincerely wants to know about him and his life. It could be the way she listens with no judgment when he talks. It could be the way she just listens._

" _It's really late, Lucas," Riley interrupts his thoughts. She is biting her lip worriedly and once again, Lucas feels the need to ease the frown on her face._

" _I'll be fine, Riley," Lucas says softly and takes his phone out. "Give me your number. I'll text you when I reach my apartment safely."_

_She nods and punches in her number, giving herself a missed call so that she can save his._

" _I'll be waiting," she smiles sweetly and before he loses his nerve, he pecks her on the cheek. Her eyes widen in pleasant surprise and he gives her a final grin before he leaves._

_Zay walks him to his car and the grin he has does not leave his face._

" _So, Riley, huh?" his best friend nudges him and Lucas chuckles._

" _She's different," Lucas says and Zay nods in agreement._

" _She is. So, you gonna ask her out?"_

_Lucas thinks of the way his heart has not stopped beating wildly. He thinks of the way he no longer feels as stressed. He thinks of the way he feels as though a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. All because of four hours with a girl he has just met._

" _I'll be a fool to let her go," Lucas concludes and Zay pats him on the back approvingly._

" _Smart move, cowboy."_

* * *

Anne laughs at the story Riley has just told her, and for the first time since she arrived in Texas, Riley sincerely laughs along. She is sure her cheeks are red as she recounts the time Lucas asked her father for his blessings so that he could marry her.

"Hey, what's going on here?" her husband's voice pipes up. Peggy and him come to a stop in front of Riley and Anne. Riley regards him with a wistful smile on her face.

"Just telling your mother about how you asked for my parent's blessings to marry me."

"It really is a funny story," his mother chuckles and Riley frowns when Lucas shifts uncomfortably.

"Well, if you don't mind, I would love to hear about it, Riley," his sister smiles shyly and takes her place beside their mother.

She is surprised when he does not go back into his house, and instead plops himself beside her. Their shoulders brush and Riley suppresses the delighted squeal she so desperately wants to let out.

He is curious to know too, she realizes. He had met her parents a few minutes before they left for Texas and she knows that he had liked them. Her parents had been especially casual and understanding.

He raises his eyebrow, waiting for her start.

"Well, you see – "

"Lucas," a new voice enters and she watches as he freezes.

He stands abruptly, and turns to the newcomer, eyes wide as he gapes at her. From the corner of her eyes, she sees Anne and Peggy awkwardly stand and so does she.

The newcomer looks familiar, with luscious hair and beautiful eyes. She is looking at Lucas as though he is her world though, and Riley forces down the jealousy that bubbles in her when she sees that Lucas is looking at that woman the same way.

"Hi, Missy," Lucas greets the woman, a fondness in his expression that Riley has not seen since he woke up.

Riley's breath hitches, and she almost does not feel Anne squeeze her hand comfortingly. As Lucas and Missy continue looking at each other, Riley moves forward, extending her hand to the beautiful brunette.

"Hi, I'm Riley, Lucas' wife," she forces a smile and Missy turns to her, eyes wide for a moment before she raises a perfect eyebrow at Riley. Missy straightens and takes her offered hand, shaking it delicately.

"Missy, Lucas' ex-fiancé," the beautiful woman smiles. Riley is certain that if Maya was with them, her best friend would have called Missy out on the fake smile she is giving her. Gosh, she misses Maya.

"Wow," Lucas breathes as he shakes his head before he turns to Missy, "Why don't we go in and catch up?"

Lucas leads the way in, and Missy follows behind him. Just as she is about to enter, she turns to Riley and smirks, "It was nice to meet you, Riley."

Riley smiles back, clenching her hands at her side. Gosh, she really misses Maya.

"If it makes you feel better," Peggy makes a face at the closing door, "I like you a lot more than I liked her."

"Amen to that," Anne nods.

She smiles thankfully at the both of them, though the ache in her chest does not cease. If anything, she feels as though it has consumed her, and as Anne and Peggy excuse themselves, she turns back to look at the stars, finding comfort in them as she wraps her arms around herself.

Once again, she feels alone.

* * *

_3 years ago…_

" _You feeling better now?" she asks as she looks up at him. Lucas' arms are tight around her, and she runs her hands up and down his arms in an attempt to comfort him. The stars are blinking in the sky above him as he looks down at her, and she cannot help but think about how handsome he looks._

_She just wishes that there is something she can do to ease the sad look in his eyes._

" _I want to call her so badly," he says softly. "But I can't, Riley. I'm still so angry with her – with all of them – and every time I pick up the phone, I think of the pain they've caused. How can I look past that?"_

_She does not know how to answer him, and so she does not. Instead, she patiently waits for him to continue, hoping that he will feel better after he talks about what has been plaguing his mind and heart for the past two years._

" _They cheated people, Riley," he pulls away from her. She gets up to let him pace, and sits back down. "People lost their homes because my parents were greedy frauds. They've been doing it for ages, and it took me so long to figure it out. And when I confronted my father about it, do you know what he said? He said that it had to be done."_

_He laughs humorlessly and her heart aches for him._

" _That's the reason he wanted me to be a lawyer, you know? So that I could help him get past all the legal stuff when his lawyer retires because he said he needed somebody he could trust," he disgustedly shakes his head. "My mother knew all this while, of course. And Peggy? She found out about it when she left for college and she didn't say anything, Riles! She kept covering for them every single time."_

_He is out of breath as he looks at her, and she gets up. She wraps her arms around him, and leans her head on his chest. She waits as the tension in his shoulders ease, and he puts his arms around her, squeezing her tight against him._

" _You know for a whole year after I left them, I felt so alone," he tells her. "Zay is a great friend, but I just felt so ashamed to tell him anything. And then you come along and it's like the universe or something is suddenly on my side."_

_She does not know how long they stand there, holding onto each other tight. All she knows is that they're together, and when they're together, they can take on the world._

" _I'm sorry about your family," she tells him and he takes her face in his hands and caresses her cheeks. "And you have to know that before you came into my life, there have been moments when I felt so alone. Maya has Josh, Zay has Sarah and Farkle and Smackle have each other. I couldn't tell them about how alone I felt, and I am so happy that I can tell you anything."_

" _I am too. Promise me you'll always talk to me," he pleads, and when his eyes brim with tears, so do hers. "My favorite thing in the world is when you talk to me."_

" _It is?" she asks, heart bursting._

" _It is," he confirms._

" _I love you, Lucas Friar," she kisses him. "And I promise to always talk to you. Because with you, I know I am not alone. I'm glad I fell into your lap."_

"So am I. _I love you too, Riley Matthews. And I promise to never let you feel alone."_

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I realize how cruel it is to end here but unfortunately, I really must. Let me know what ya'll think in the reviews please! You know by now how much I appreciate them :)**


	4. Chapter 4

_One year ago…_

_They wait in silence, both staring at the stick as they await the fate of their future. Unable to continue waiting in silence, Riley turns the stick upside down and looks at her husband._

_For the first time in a long while, he looks scared. His jaw is clenched as he grips her hand tight._

" _Will it really be bad if it was positive?" she asks timidly._

_He snaps his head to look at her, his eyes wide with fear and uncertainty before they soften like they always do when he looks at her. He takes both her hands into his and kisses them._

" _Having a child with you will never be a bad thing, Riley," he tells her, sincerity shining through and she slumps in relief. She gives him a shaky smile, and he wipes the lone tear making its way down her cheek._

" _It's just bad timing, huh?" she laughs humorlessly and he shrugs._

" _We can get through anything together," he says confidently and laces his hand through hers._

_Not for the first time, she wonders how she can get so lucky. She wonders how she could be blessed with such a man – a man who is undoubtedly scared for his future that a child will get in the way off – who makes her feel so much stronger than she feels._

" _Ready?" she questions softly. She sees him gulp, a hint of hesitation on his face before he looks at her. It is as though looking at her has given him the strength as he straightens his back and nods more confidently than he probably feels._

_He takes her face into his hands, looks her in the eyes and says, "If we are going to be parents, this child is going to have parents who love her and each other. And if we aren't, then we will be amazing parents to our future children, Riley. I'm thinking an animal theme for the nur –"_

_She crashes her lips to his, taking him in as she holds on to him. He holds on to her just as tightly, and when they pull away, she looks at the stick._

" _Negative," she breathes out._

_Although she is happy (because there is no way they were even financially ready to be parents), there is a tinge of disappointment in her that she wants to suppress. She knows that from a logical point of view, it is a good thing that they are not going to be parents yet._

_She cannot wait for that day though. She wants to have children with Lucas. She wants a little girl with her hair and his eyes who is strong like her father. She wants a little boy who wants to make the world better and is kind like his father. She wants to have children._

_She feels him kiss her hair, and leans against his chest. She closes her eyes, enjoying his warm embrace as he runs his hands along her arms._

" _Riley?"_

" _Hmm?"_

" _One day," he says and she smiles contently._

_One day._

* * *

"Wait, ex-fiancé Missy?" her best friend shrieks on her laptop screen and Riley groans.

"Oh no, Maya, not ex-fiancé, Missy," Riley sarcastically says. "Lucas thought they were still engaged when he woke up, remember? So to him, it's current fiancé Missy. You should have seen the way he was looking at her."

"Oh, Riles," her best friend gives her a sympathetic smile and pats her pregnant stomach. "I wish I was there with you."

Riley hugs her pillow tight as she admits, "Me too, Peaches. But you have to take it easy for my little cousin, okay? How's the nursery coming along?"

"Very slowly," Maya groans. "We're trying to decide on a gender neutral color since we don't know the gender of the baby yet. Josh wants it to be cream but I want it to be turquoise and we just cannot come to a compromise."

"Well, how about a theme instead then, Maya?" Riley suggests and the blonde on her screen perks up, interested. "Like maybe an animal theme? So the walls could be a background of the jungle and the room will be filled with stuffed animals."

Maya's face lights up at the suggestion. "That's a great idea, Riles! And we could even add in a purple cat! Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

Riley shrugs, the heavy weight in her chest crushingly painful.

"Lucas and I were planning to start a family after he became a vet," Riley tells her best friend. Maya gapes at her from the screen, tears clouding her pretty eyes. "But plans change, I guess."

"Oh, Honey," Maya sniffs and Riley blinks away the tears in her own eyes. She plasters on another smile on her face and regards her friend.

"It's okay, Maya. I'll get him back and we'll make other plans," she forces the words out.

Even to her own ears, the hope she tries to show sounds forced. Huh, when did that start to happen?

"Riley – "

"Please don't, Peaches," Riley begs quietly and she sees Maya stop herself from uttering what she knows her best friend would say. Instead, her best friend nods and goes back to talking about themes and nurseries.

Riley half listens, her mind drifting off to the thought of the sandy-haired man in the room opposite hers.

Lucas had been uncomfortable with the idea of sharing a room with her, and had politely asked her if she minded taking the guest bedroom when they had first arrived in Texas. Riley had wanted to tell him that she did mind not sharing a room with her husband, but the pleading look on his face had stopped her from objecting. Instead, she had obliged, a heavy pang in her heart when he looked relieved.

It seems as though all he wants to do is get away from her. It was the issue of room arrangements on the first day. It also does not help that he tenses every time he sees her, his emerald eyes guarded the way it never used to be. An even harder pill to swallow had been the look of awe on his face when he had reunited with his ex-fiancé the night before.

"Hey, there's my favorite niece!" her uncle's voice brings her out of her thoughts and she smiles apologetically at her best friend for drifting off. Maya winks at Riley, kisses her husband on the cheek and goes off the screen, muttering something about her cravings.

"She's craving for mac and cheese?" Riley asks.

"With ketchup. I blame you, Riley," Josh says, his face twisted in disgust. Riley laughs, delighted that the combination of food that she is mocked for loving is one of Maya's pregnancy cravings.

"My godchild is going to be awesome as me," Riley grins and Josh's face softens.

"I hope so," he tells her honestly and she shyly looks down. "Maya told me about Missy while you were lost in your thoughts just now. How're you holding up?"

"It's weird, you know? He's Lucas but he's not the man I know and married," she plays with the hem of the pillow. "The man I married would not have made it so obvious that he was still pining over his ex-fiancé. So, it probably sucked for him so much more that his wife was cockblocking him all night."

Josh repeats the words his wife said earlier, his face holding the same expression Maya's did, "I wish I was there with you, Riles."

"I know. And I love you guys so much more for that," she assures him. "I just – How am I supposed to win him back when he is so set on avoiding me?"

"You're a stranger to him, Riles," her uncle sympathetically reminds her. "He doesn't know you. So, why not start with letting him get to know you again? Because I don't think there is a version of Lucas that cannot not like you."

She mulls over Josh's suggestion, raising her eyes when she realizes that he is right.

"And what if getting to know me isn't enough?" she asks softly.

"Then you let him go," her uncle says firmly and she snaps her head to glare at him. The young doctor raises his hand, "You know what they say, Riley. If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours. And if they don't –"

"They never were," she whispers and Josh nods.

It is a saying that has circulated to her and her group of friends, especially in times when hope seemed impossible. It had been said to her when she, Maya, Farkle and Smackle were going off to different colleges and they were afraid that it would mean that they would no longer be friends again. It had been said to Maya and Josh when they took a break a year into his residency, the stress of being a first year Med student too much for Josh. It had been said when Lucas and her had their first fight, and she was convinced that it had been the end of them.

Her chest constricts at the thought of not having Lucas in her life, so much stronger than it had been after her first big fight with him.

* * *

"I would like to take you on a date."

He chokes on the orange juice he has just sipped, and feels his mother pat his back soothingly. Lucas wipes the remaining juice from his lips, gaping at the woman on the other side of the dining table.

"I'm sorry – what?"

Riley bites her lower lip nervously and repeats, "I would like to take you on a date."

He looks at his mother who has an amused smile on her face. Beside him, his sister grins at him.

He had been so sure that Riley had given up on him after the party the night before. Missy's arrival seemed to have quenched the tinge of hope that had been present in her eyes every time he looked at her. Riley had been distant and had shot him sorrowful glances the whole time he had been catching up with Missy.

It seems as though she has found a newfound will to win him back over the night though, and he suppresses the sigh he wants to let out. He really wishes she would just give up and leave him be, considering the guilt he feels when he looks at her. He feels as though he is leading her on, and though he has tried telling her this so many times, his wife is just as stubborn and adamant as he is.

He regards his wife at the other end of the table, her eyes wide with hope yet her shoulders slumped as though she is preparing herself for his rejection. The sight of her makes his heart skip a beat.

She has travelled all the way to Texas for him, leaving behind her family and friends just so that he would be comfortable. She has taken care of him well since his release from the hospital. She has not given him any indication that she thinks that he owes her for her kindness. And yet, he feels as though he does.

"Okay," he says and her eyes widen disbelievingly. He hears Peggy squeal quietly, and can feel Anne shaking with excitement. Lucas suppresses the urge to roll his eyes at his mother's and sister's antics. "Where do you want to go?"

Riley smiles shyly at him and he ignores the way his heart skips a beat at the hopeful smile she sends his way.

"That's a surprise," she says and he raises his eyebrows at her. "Just be ready by seven, alright? Dress casually."

He nods at her, takes the piece of toast his mother offers him, and walks out of the kitchen.

He chuckles in surprise when he hears his wife exclaim as he walks away, "Okay, Anne, I might need to borrow a white horse."

* * *

"This is amazing, Riley," he breathes out and Riley beams at him, happy that he is finally smiling genuinely around her.

She had brought him to the lake he had once told her about under the stars in New York. She remembers the way his eyes had lit up with nostalgia as he recounted the first time Pappy Joe had brought him there, and that the lake had been his go-to place every time he felt too constricted in his own home.

He had told her that it is a place he feels safe in, and it is a place he will always find comfort in. She knows that safety and comfort is what he most needs now, and she is thankful that he is open enough to share it with her for now.

"I must have really trusted you," he says as he sits down on the picnic mat she has laid out. She does not look at him as she sits down opposite him, busying herself with cutting him a slice of pie and then giving it to him.

He waits. She nods when they lock eyes, and she smiles softly when the guarded look in his eyes tones down a little.

"Like I said, we talked a lot," she chuckles fondly. "You'd tell me about how your Pappy Joe found you here after you were suspended from school the first time. You'd tell me about –"

"And what did you tell me, Riley?" he asks, and she shoots him a surprised look.

She looks at her husband who does not remember her. At the thought of their late night conversations, a nostalgic smile edges onto her face as she recalls their time together.

"I'd tell you everything too," she tells him. "I'd talk to you about my day at the fashion institute and how bitchy Aubrey, my mentor, was that day. I'd tell you about how unsure I was about being a fashion designer, and that my dream of owning my own clothing line seems so far away."

"And what would I say?"

He inches closer to her, and she feels as though time has stopped. He is looking at her with interest, listening intently about the life she had once shared with him. She does not know if it is to find out more about the part of him that he has lost along with his memories or if he really is interested in getting to know her. Either way, she is just glad that he is listening again.

"You'd tell me that you have as much faith in me as I do in you," she feels the weight in her chest lighten. "You'd remind me that I am the girl who hopes and strives for what she believes in. You'd always say that as long as we have each other, we could do anything we want."

"Tell me more about how we were," he says the magic words and she suppresses the overwhelming urge to squeal.

"What do you want to know?"

"Well, let's start with our first date," he suggests and the memory of that day makes her giggle. "Was it as nice as this one?"

"It was perfect," she grins dreamily and steals a bite of his pie. He shoots her a playful glare, and she scrunches up her face into a weird expression, mocking him. Lucas laughs, and Riley thinks about how it is her favorite sound in the world. "You rented a white horse."

"I did what?!"

* * *

They return back to his house that night, wide smiles on both their faces. The giddy smile that has not left her face tugs at his heart, and he feels the familiar sense of confusion he has felt since she told him that he is married to her.

He had a great time with her, he realizes. He had enjoyed the way she had been so open with him, as though telling him anything that was on her mind came so naturally to her. He had been mesmerized at the way her face scrunched up when she laughed, thinking it adorable that she snorts when she really laughs. He had never wanted to forget the twinkle in her eyes when she recounted the story of their first date.

He can finally see why he had fallen so hard and fast for her the first time.

"Well, this is you," her voice brings him out of his thoughts.

He gives her a soft smile, and she returns it shyly.

"Well, uh, goodnight, Riley," he rubs the back of his neck, and she nods at him, giving him a smaller smile that does not reach her eyes. She walks towards the other end of the hall, and just as he is about to open his own room door, he hears the sound of a loud sigh before fast approaching footsteps.

She is striding towards him, her face showing nothing but determination. His eyes widen when she grabs his face, and for a moment, hesitation clouds her eyes before she seems to realize that he is looking at her with anticipation.

He is excited, he realizes too, as his heart thumps wildly against his chest.

She caresses his cheek as she moves her face closer to his, her lips only inches away from his. She is giving him time to back away, and his heart swells at the amazing woman he knows he is lucky he married.

"You know those moments we were talking about earlier that we think we're going to remember forever?" he asks her and she nods, smiling. Without further thought, he brings his lips to hers and kisses her.

Her lips are soft as he kisses her, and he feels her wrap her arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer to her.

When they finally pull apart, their foreheads still touch and Lucas hopes he never forgets the image in front of him. He hopes he never forgets the pink tinge in her cheeks as her eyes remain close, as though she is trying to stay in the moment. He hopes he never forgets the way he feels as though he is the luckiest man alive. He hopes he never forgets this moment.

"Ah, Lucas, come in," his father ushers him into his office, and Lucas enters, marveling at the changes he sees in his father's office.

It is more personalized, Lucas realizes, as he notices the pictures of him, his sister, his parents and a few family friends on the once empty wall.

His eyes widen in surprise at the sight of 'World's Best Dad' mug that he had given his father when he was eight is beside his father's laptop. The last time he had seen that mug was at the back of the kitchen cabinet when he was sixteen, dusty and unused.

Huh, a lot _has_ changed.

"Mom says you wanted to see me, Sir?"

"I did," his father confirms and gestures for him to sit down. There is still an air of formality that has always been present between them. "I wanted to talk to you about joining Texas A&M next year. I pulled some strings, and if you can pass the entrance exam again, there really is a high chance of you being a student there again."

"You're okay with me being a vet?" Lucas asks in disbelief.

His father softens his stance at Lucas' question. He takes a deep breath, as though what he is about to say next is really hard for him, and then says to his son, "I made the mistake of forcing you into Stanford the last time. Riley was telling me about how you were succeeding in Cornell. I just thought it'd be what you want again since you told me five years ago that you've actually wanted to be a vet your whole life."

He blinks at his father, not knowing how to react to that piece of information. Bill is regarding him cautiously now, though there is a hint of expectancy in his eyes. He thinks that Lucas is going to jump on this opportunity.

He should take it, Lucas thinks. It would make like so much easier. He would stay in Texas, be a vet and live with people he has known his whole life. He would lead a comfortable life. He should be thankful for this opportunity.

Instead, his mind drifts to the brunette in his home. Staying in Texas would mean giving up Riley, and for the first time since waking up in that hospital bed, he is not sure if he can let her go.

It had been an amazing first date the night before, and if this is how he feels after one date, he can understand how he fell hard and fast for her the last time. He is captivated by the way she talks animatedly, waving her arms around as she recounts stories of her life before him. He loves the special smile she reserves for him, the softly fond smile that graces her beautiful face when she looks at him. He wants to be able to kiss her as many times as he can without feeling awkward.

He knows he has not felt that way about anyone for a long time. He had proposed to Missy five years ago, and he is almost sure that he has never felt as content after a date with her as he had with Riley.

"Lucas?" his father raises his eyebrows and Lucas sighs.

"Can you give me some time to think, Dad?" Lucas asks, suddenly feeling light headed. "I think this is something I need to discuss with Riley."

His father nods and Lucas drifts off again. How is he supposed to decide?

* * *

_3 years ago…_

" _Lucas, I'm not allowed to talk?" she asks incredulously. Her boyfriend turns to face her, his eyes downcast with disappointment as he regards her. They move to glare at the man behind her before softening when they rest on her again._

" _Sure you can, Riley," he says. "You can talk to whoever you want."_

_He gives her one last look that sends a chill through her spine and walks away. She blinks at the space he once occupied, the loud music around her turning into a faint buzz as she stands frozen to the ground._

_She does not understand what she has done wrong. All she did was talk to Evan, a friend of hers from the fashion institute. She had just finished complaining to him about the stress her mentor was putting her under when Lucas had appeared by her side, took one look at her and Evan and walked out on them._

_She turns to Evan to excuse herself and her friend nods, telling her he is leaving anyway. She thanks Evan for coming to the third party Zay has hosted that week, and then goes off to look for her boyfriend but to no avail. Instead, she finds Zay with Sarah._

" _Zay, have you seen Lucas?" she asks and her roommate nods._

" _He went off, Riles. Said something about needing to take a walk. Is everything alright with the two of you?" Zay asks and Riley waves him off. She is about to leave to find her boyfriend and yell at him for leaving when Zay grabs her arm gently._

" _What are you doing?" she raises her eyes at him and Zay is about to say something when his girlfriend cuts him off._

" _He's stopping you from going after Lucas," Sarah tells her._

_Riley gapes at the both of them, "Why?"_

" _He gets like this when he is jealous, Riley," Zay sighs. "This is the third time he has done this with you and every time, you go after him. If you go after him now, you're going to be telling him that it is okay for him to get jealous every time you speak to a man who is not me, Farkle or related to you."_

" _How can you say that? He's your best friend!"_

" _And that's why I know, Riles," Zay insists. She is about to snap at him when she sees the look he gives her._

_It is one of someone who has known her boyfriend for a very long time. It is one of someone who genuinely wants what is best for them._

" _Riley, if he really loves you, he will come and apologize to you. He will swallow his pride and talk to you," Sarah squeezes her hand. "He needs to realize that you're not going anywhere too."_

_She knows that what they are saying makes sense. And every part of her is agreeing with them. Well, almost every part._

_Her heart is aching for him. Her heart is screaming at her to find him, and to assure him that she will always be there for him. Her heart is telling her that she has to run after him. Her heart is telling her that if she does not go after him, he will leave her and never come back._

_She feels Zay's comforting arms around her._

" _He'll be back, Sugar," he promises and she lets out the breath she is holding, nodding as she hopes._

_She waits for five agonizingly long hours. The party had long been over, and Zay and Sarah had turned in an hour ago. Riley has been in her bedroom since, unable to sleep as she wrings her hands while she sits by her bay window._

_She swipes through the pictures in her phone, most of which is with the second year veterinary student she is very much in love with._

_It's been five hours, and Lucas has not come back to her._

_She brings her knees to her chest, hugging them as she buries her face into the space between them, letting the tears drop from her eyes and onto her dress._

_He is not coming back. She has lost him. He left, and she did not follow him. He is not coming –_

_A knock on her window startles her and she looks up._

_Lucas is on the other side, his own eyes red with tears as he continues knocking on her window. He looks as tired as she feels and her eyes widen at the sight of him._

_She scrambles to open the window. It takes her a while, her clumsy hands shaking as she struggles to open the latch. The moment she does, he crosses into the room and takes her into his arms, holding on to her tightly._

_She squeezes him back, burying her face into his chest._

" _You were being ridiculous," she sniffs and feels him nodding._

" _I know," he says, his voice shaking. "I'm sorry."_

_She pulls away, taking his hand and making him sit by her bay window. She makes herself comfortable on his lap, and he automatically wraps his arms around her frame, kissing her hair as she settles in._

" _You wanna tell me what today was about?" she asks softly as she strokes his arm and she feels him tense again._

" _We haven't spoken to each other much in a week, Riley," he starts and she forces herself to not interrupt him. "I had a bad day at school. I was tired and I was missing you because all I wanted at the end of this week was to talk to you. And then, at the party, I heard one of your class mates saying something about you and Evan having a thing and I just snapped when I saw you with him."_

_She pulls away from him and looks at him, heart aching at the broken and insecure look on his face. It is a side of him she does not see often because he is always so confident and smooth._

_She takes his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her, and caresses his cheeks. Her boyfriend leans into her touch, and she kisses him slowly and gently. He kisses her back just as tenderly._

_They pull away, foreheads still touching as she strokes his cheek._

" _I was trying to motivate Evan to not give up," she tells him and he nods, waiting for her to continue. "Aubrey's been pretty tough on him lately and he's really feeling the pressure. I was just trying to motivate him."_

" _Well, now I feel dumb," he laughs nervously._

" _You should because I love_ you _, Lucas Friar," she says easily and he kisses her hands. "You have nothing to be jealous about because there is no man in this world that I would want to talk about the important stuff with other than you. I made a promise to you that day on the roof and I promise to keep it for the rest of my life."_

" _The rest of your life, huh?" his eyes shine with love for her and she pecks him on the cheek._

_She does not answer him. Instead, she bites her lip nervously. Her heart is racing because they have never talked about spending forever together but he is looking at her as though she is the reason he can do anything. She is pretty sure that with him, she can do anything._

" _Riley?" he brings her out of her thoughts and she waits for him to continue. He says softly, "The rest of_ our _lives sounds good to me too."_

_She makes herself comfortable in his arms again, and they spend the rest of the night being with each other. He tells her about how tough his modules are, and that his mid semester exams have been hell. She tells him about how her mentor, Aubrey, has rejected about three quarters of the designs she has pitched. They talk about anything and everything until the sun rises._

_He is in the bathroom when she goes to her kitchen, preparing breakfast for the both of them. They had decided to stay in for the day, and she smiles happily at the thought of just being him without the weight of the world on their shoulders._

" _So, he came back?" Sarah startles her out of her thoughts, giving her a knowing smile._

_Riley squeaks, grabbing onto the handle of the refrigerator. She glares playfully at her friend before hugging her._

" _He came back," she nods happily._

 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: What do you guys think? Should I continue? It'll be my first multi-chapter fic after a long while so bear with me? Next chapter should be up by next week if I continue :)


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